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 ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]

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MessageSujet: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Ven 20 Jan - 8:07

Bonjour à tous!
Un bateau s'échoue, et les passagers bloqués, sans aide car l'île sur laquelle le bateau a échoué est déserte. Ils vont peut être s'en sortir, mais qui vous dit qu'ils survivront à l'île en elle-même?
Voyons voir si vous continuerez cette nouvelle (c'est quand même plus dur d'écrire en anglais, c'est sûr )!


The boat was pitching a lot these last minutes, and the passengers were getting pretty worried. Some messages on their phone were telling them they were safe, it was just waves. But none of them was really reassured by that, because all their staff, in each room of the boat, was moving from one side to the other. A rumor was circulating, that a woman was stuck under all her suitcases, and that police was trying to get her out of it.
I was between them, and was really scared of what could happen in the next hour. Were we going to immerse, or whatever? When I finally arrived to my cabin, I didn't recognize it at all. I looked at the number again: it was mine, no doubt. Me, a such organized young man, couldn't leave all my subcases open with all my clothes all over the ground. What the hell was happening, I asked myself. After, I don't really remember what happened. I think I've been thrown on my wall, and started bleeding, according to what I saw after waking. I just fainted, in fact.
When I woke up, my room was completely broken. I could see the ceiling as the floor was on the wall, because I could see the above and under bedrooms. My light came out of the top, and made a little explosion. All started to take fire. What the hell could I do now I was stuck near the window, with a man under me who I wanted to save?

Bon, j'avoue: cette fois-ci, j'ai légèrement utilisé Google Traduction
Je souhaite bonne chance au prochain!
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Julie
Commandant de Bord


Messages : 477
Birthday : 30/07/1995
Âge : 21
Où suis-je ? : Au Déf les racines

MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Sam 21 Jan - 19:06

I don’t exactly know what happened next. There is only a huge cloud of smoke in my mind, and then I remember I was passing the doors and running between the other passengers, the poor guy on my shoulders. Then, as a miracle, I saw the sky above me and quickly had to close my eyes, almost afraid by the intensity of the sunlight. We were beached on a desert island, the front of the boat deeply sunk in the white sand. I breathed in, both relieved and lost, and decided to get off the ship, like other peasants had done. The scene had something funny: upper-class people, cleaning their forehead with a delicate hand-kerchief and trying to keep an air of composure by straightening their over-expensive coat. I laid the man down; he still wasn’t conscious. Then someone behind my back called me with a deep voice. I turned over.

It's pretty short, but I keep the suspense... Sorry if I made too many mistakes, please correct it! (:
Moi je dis, vive Wordreference <3

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MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Dim 22 Jan - 16:59

It was a man, looking at me as if I wasn't like any other. He was literally admiring me, watching who I just laid down. He offered to help me, but I denied, he might have something to do, clothes to pick, or anything else, I didn't really care. He insisted. He told me he was a doctor, and that his trip to Japan was explained by a new illness appeared up there. I thought about presenting myself, but I had a problem: my memories weren't there anymore, I didn't even know who I was. It might be because I had inhaled the smoke of a fire, he told me. The only thing I remembered is that I was in my bedroom. What was the number of this one? I don't know. My door was burning, and I escaped by the door above. I realised I was forgetting all of what happened before this. He was starting acting very weird. I think he was loosing his mind. Who am I, again? He asked me. You're a doctor, I told him, but... you weren't in the burning bedroom, even near them? Something was getting really weird with this island. What the hell was going on here?

Je suis curieux de savoir ce que vous allez mettre après!
Et attention, aucun traducteur utilisé cette fois! Sauf mon père, pour quelques mots


---
[Relu et corrigé par Julie]
PS : je vais peut-être pas répondre tout de suite, j'attends de voir s'il y a d'autre suicid volontaires.
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Eiluj
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Messages : 54
Birthday : 22/08/1997
Âge : 19

MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Jeu 12 Avr - 20:29

I kept my questions in silent and I looked around me. All the persons were shaken by the last events, and some was sat and seemed very tired. I turned to the doctor again, and he smiled at me. Before I could say anything, he touched my arm. I was having the deepest wound I ever seen until now.
"- You should go to relax, I will look after him, and then after you," he told me. I was still holding the unconscious man, so I gently put him on the floor. I was reluctant to let him with this doctor, this last was strange... and this smile... I went anyway, and I found a quiet place, to clear my mind. I didn't know anything, and I was also tired by all this events, strange or not.

voilà, je m'essaye à l'anglais! je crois que les temps c'est pas encore ça :s
et j'espère que je ne me suis pas trompée dans le sens de l'histoire...


Dernière édition par Julie le Lun 16 Avr - 12:38, édité 1 fois (Raison : Relu et corrigé (les temps et le sens sont parfaits =D !))
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Julie
Commandant de Bord


Messages : 477
Birthday : 30/07/1995
Âge : 21
Où suis-je ? : Au Déf les racines

MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Lun 16 Avr - 13:49

C'est génial que tu reprennes cette histoire, ça m'inspire bien !
J'ai fait une suite avec le regard d'une femme, Elaine, pour changer et redynamiser le récit, pendant que le type du début se repose. Elle a un caractère assez tempêtueux alors je pense qu'elle va peut-être essayer d'entreprendre quelque chose toute seule, explorer l'île, je sais pas...
Ah, j'ai mis en rouge les traductions de quelques expressions que j'ai trouvées sur Wordreference et qui doivent être galère à retraduire si on les connaît pas !


II
Elaine

"So there we are, stuck on this f***ing island", she was thinking, taking her ankle boots off. She shook her head and sighed. What was she going to do, now she’d lost all her stuffs on the boat? Elaine Dilmour was one of those women who wouldn’t be pushed around (= qui ne se laissait pas faire), and she was seething (= fulminer) against what was happening to her. She despised the crowd that was pressing around the injured, she despised that man trying to sleep apart, she despised all the people around her because they couldn’t hold candle to her (= ils ne lui arrivaient pas à la cheville).


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Blu.


Dernière édition par Julie le Mer 18 Avr - 17:31, édité 1 fois
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Eiluj
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Messages : 54
Birthday : 22/08/1997
Âge : 19

MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Lun 16 Avr - 18:33

She was walking in fury, stuck on this island. She wasn't afraid, she hadn't any husband or any children, but she couldn't stand seing people in grief. They were staying here, doing nothing, or complaining, it was lamentable and unbearable. She had to move, or to do something to wake up all these people.
She wasn't seeing the crew, so she decided to explore this new country alone. She was taking a bag and some food supplies when a man, surely a doctor, came to talk to her. She raised her head to tell him that she wanted to leave but he made a nod (clin d'oeil) and he said she needed to take medicines for her expedition, then he went somewhere else. How did he know about her starting? How did he...
"- Confusing huh?", said a voice behind her. She turned over. It was the sleeping man
"- What do you mean?
- He is strange". He showed the doctor, smiled, nodded… "a ‘doctor’...

Je sais, encore ce medecin...
Ah, et le dialogue est a continuer

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Julie
Commandant de Bord


Messages : 477
Birthday : 30/07/1995
Âge : 21
Où suis-je ? : Au Déf les racines

MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Mer 18 Avr - 17:30

- Yeah, well... I didn't notice that point", she answered, eager to leave. But the guy wasn't going to let her.
"Where are you going like that?
- Why do you wanna know?
- You don't seem to be like the other people. You are trying to do something. I find you intriguing.
- Well, thanks." She turned her back to him and left.

The young woman had put some new shoes she had found in an open suitcase, more comfortable than hers. She started to go along the rain forest that was stretching over miles and miles (= elle commença à longer la forêt tropicale qui s'étendait sur des kilomètres), her rucksack on her back. But a few minutes later, she heard a breathless voice.
"Miss! Please wait for me." She looked around. It was the sleeping man. He smiled. "I'm sorry... I couldn't sleep after talking to you. I – I just wanna get out of here. And I had to follow you, cause –
- I don't need your company.", she said drily.
"I... know.". The man hesitated one second and tried. "But yes, you do! I have some more food in my backpack, I can carry a lot of things if you want, and er... I can protect you, if something happens. As you know, I could —
- I don't wanna know. Do you think I'm not capable of standing on my own two feet? You're like all the other men.

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Lyadrielle
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Messages : 1318
Birthday : 08/02/1992
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MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Dim 22 Avr - 12:57

At this point, she was remembering her life before the sinking, when she didn't have a choice. Indeed, she lived in a huge city, surrounded by many trees and green areas where she loved to rest and think. As a woman in this century, she couldn't stay alone lots of time or she would be regarded as a lady with a terrible behaviour.

She was not like her friends though, she didn't want to obey to her parents as a robot without a brain, she dreamt of another world, an escape, far away from this doomed land where she was engaged to a man she hadn't even met yet.

This trip was then a great idea to discover another country and another way of life. She was so happy to leave, leave a place where she couldn't live on her own, choose her own clothes or speak freely to men.

She knew that this trip for America was THE opportunity. Unfortunately, she had not predicted the wreck.

- "Please, don't disturb me anymore. I need to concentrate."

She smiled at him, with this special manner she learnt from her father.

The doctor understood and followed her without saying anything during, what, 5 minutes ?
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MessageSujet: Re: ANGLAIS : Boat aground! (échoué) [Titre provisoire]   Aujourd'hui à 23:01

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